Some lovely shots!!, but agree get rid of cheesey transitions they look really 80's and amateurish , do hard cuts between scenes as much as possible , cut to the music beat, keep each clip short a couple of seconds, and if it's too long to do in a couple of seconds speed it up. Do it again and repost , make it 3mins apx maximum with the above followed and it will be great.
Just my opinion as the shots were really nice , just the editing needs a lot